It’s draft season.
People everywhere are losing their minds at EVERY single move that NFL teams make.
If the Cleveland Browns fart in a weird direction, people make the assumption that they are going to surprise everyone and draft a kicker with the first overall pick. It’s becoming ridiculous guys. Well, I’m here to stop all the bullshit.
I’m tired of the talk. It’s time to get down to some serious business.
Who are the Browns taking #1?
Why the hell did the New York Jets just trade up with the Indianapolis Colts?
How many QB’s will go in the first-round?
LET’S MOCK DRAFT MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!
1. Cleveland Browns – SAM DARNOLD (QB), USC
It’s fun to debate and look at the moves that the Cleveland Browns are making in advance of the draft to try to decide what they are going to do with this pick. A lot of people seem to believe that since the Browns traded for QB Tyrod Taylor, that they are content with their QB situation and will let Taylor run the show. They will draft RB Saquon Barkley with the first overall pick and Taylor and Barkley will be running the show for years in Cleveland. Not so fast my friends. First of all, it would be the most Cleveland Brownsiest move of all-time to not take their pick of the litter amongst the QB’s and draft a running back with the #1 pick, a move that is absolutely ridiculous when it comes to the value of draft picks. The Browns new GM is John Dorsey, a guy who gets a lot of credit for building a tremendous roster in Kansas City before the Chiefs let him go because of his salary cap woes. Look at Dorsey’s draft history. The guy drafts the most important positions on the football field with his top picks. He’s not taking a RB #1 overall guys. Stop the talk. The Browns will have a debate for weeks leading up to the draft and that debate will be….which QB is the best one to take? They only have Taylor signed for one more season and ideally, you could have Taylor start next season while someone like Darnold sits behind him for a year. You let Taylor walk and all of a sudden your “rookie QB/Super Bowl window” (a REAL thing guys) just opened up while Darnold tears up the league. This one is a no-brainer in my book.
2. New York Giants – JOSH ROSEN (QB), UCLA
What the hell are the New York Giants going to do with the second overall pick? There are a number of different ways that the Giants can go with this pick. New York has been absolutely atrocious on the offensive line and if they choose to, they could take a swing at Notre Dame offensive lineman Quenton Nelson who is the best offensive lineman in the draft by a country mile. They could also take a look at running back Saquon Barkley who would give the Giants their best running back option in years. But that’s not where the Giants attention should be. I honestly think New York has a shot at being a good team next season and there’s no telling when the Giants will get a draft pick this high in the near future. I know Giants fans still have a love obsession with Eli Manning, but it’s time to let that obsession go. If Eli had a battery level on his helmet, it would be blinking red right now. The threads on the tires are worn off and it’s time to replace them before you go spinning off the road out-of-control. Take a QB Giants. Take a guy like Josh Rosen who can deal with the New York media, sit a year behind Eli, and eventually blossom into your replacement franchise QB, which I don’t know if you are aware of this…..just so happens to be the most important position on-the-field in the game of football.
3. New York Jets – BAKER MAYFIELD (QB), OKLAHOMA
The Jets are another wild card team that could go a number of different ways at the top of the draft. However, you just don’t trade up in the first-round of the NFL Draft (and give away THREE second-rounders to move up three spots) unless there’s a QB you are dying to grab. The Jets have their eyes on someone. Who is it? They just re-signed Josh McCown and brought in QB Teddy Bridgewater on a one-year deal. While McCown and Bridgewater might give them something of an answer for next season, where do they go beyond that? Do they potentially consider Bridgewater their QB of the future or do they just want to see if he has anything left health-wise? It’s not like Bridgewater was lighting the NFL on fire before his injury anyway. The Jets would be wise to draft a QB here and that man should be Oklahoma’s Baker Mayfield. Mayfield is an interesting draft prospect this year. There are people who compare him to Johnny Manziel, but he’s not Johnny Manziel guys. I think Mayfield has the skill set to be successful in the NFL and he’s an extremely interesting character that would fit in well with the New York media. He’d also likely be the best QB on the Jets roster once the selection was made.
4. Cleveland Browns – SAQUON BARKLEY (RB), PENN STATE
With the Jets moving up to #3 in the draft, it’s pretty apparent what they are targeting. If the Browns grab their QB of the future with the #1 pick, the Giants follow suit, and the Jets after that, that leaves the Browns with a shit ton of options at #4. While I still don’t think it’s a lock that the Browns would draft a running back this high (GM John Dorsey’s track record says otherwise), I think it would be wise to take a risk with a generational talent like Barkley at this point. On tape, Barkley is absolutely fascinating to watch and will be a stud in the NFL. Cleveland’s football team needs elite players on their roster like I need a million dollars. Make it happen Browns and watch Hue Jackson’s offense look completely different than it has these past few seasons.
5. Denver Broncos – QUENTON NELSON (OL), NOTRE DAME
Denver needed to address their QB situation in the off-season and they did by adding Case Keenum to their roster. Personally, I’m not as high on Keenum as others are. He’s the kind of QB who needs good coaching around him in order to succeed and I personally don’t think Denver has those guys in place to help him out. However, the Keenum era is under way and if Denver wants to give Keenum his best chance at being successful, they need to upgrade the offensive line immediately. Denver has been atrocious on the offensive line the last few seasons and upgrades are needed immediately. Quenton Nelson is by far the best offensive lineman in this draft and at this point, it’s a no-brainer for the Donkies.
6. Indianapolis Colts – DENZEL WARD (CB), OHIO STATE
The Colts made a wise decision to trade back in this draft. They end up dropping three spots in the draft, pick up three second-round picks (who should ALL be starters if the scouting department does their job right), and which player do they wind up in this scenario? The best corner in the draft, that’s who. Indy’s new general manager Chris Ballard comes from Kansas City, an organization who has shown the last few years that they know how to build a roster that wins football games (in the regular season at least). The addition of Denzel Ward would be the start of something special in Indy.
7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – BRADLEY CHUBB (DE), N.C. STATE
The Buccaneers are in dire need of a pass-rusher at defensive end. Bradley Chubb is the best defensive end in the draft in my opinion. This would be a dream scenario for the Buccaneers who have been looking for an elite pass-rusher for quite sometime.
8. Chicago Bears – TREMAINE EDMUNDS (OLB), VIRGINIA TECH
With new head coach Matt Nagy and new offensive coordinator Mark Helfrich in place, the Bears are going to blossom into a fun team to watch on offense eventually. Even with the addition of WR Allen Robinson in free agency, the Bears still need more playmakers in place to help QB Mitchell Trubisky succeed. With all that said though, the Bears have a lot of holes on the defensive side of the ball that need to be addressed. Chicago needs an elite pass-rusher and with the eighth pick in the draft, they end up getting the #1 outside linebacker in the draft to address that need. Not a bad way to start the draft for Chicago if you ask me.
9. San Francisco 49ers – MINKAH FITZPATRICK (S), ALABAMA
Under new general manager John Lynch, the 49ers are quickly becoming a fun team to follow. They had some success with last year’s draft and I expect that to continue this year. If the 49ers somehow ended up stealing Minkah Fitzpatrick with the ninth pick in the draft, it would be a huge haul for them. Fitzpatrick is arguably the best secondary player in the draft and will likely not be available when the 49ers are on the board. In this scenario though, he’s there and the 49ers would be stupid not to take him as he could blossom into their “QB of the defense”.
10. Oakland Raiders – ROQUAN SMITH (OLB), GEORGIA
The Raiders are fine on the offensive side of the ball and almost all of their attention in this draft should focus on bringing in defensive players. It’s pretty much a “best player available” for Oakland with the tenth pick in the draft. CB? They need it. LB? They need it. DL? They need it. Get my drift yet?
11. Miami Dolphins – VITA VEA (DT), WASHINGTON
The Miami Dolphins are a dumpster fire. It doesn’t seem like they have any idea what they are doing personnel-wise. They have apparently hit the “reset” button on everything and seem primed for a re-build. How much of a re-build will it be in Miami though? If they are going for a full-on rebuild, it wouldn’t shock me at all to see them address a QB to replace Ryan Tannehill in the future. However, with the recent release of Ndamukong Suh, the Dolphins literally have a huge hole at defensive tackle. Vita Vea is the best defensive tackle in the draft and is a cheap replacement for Suh. Josh Allen could also be a possibility here.
12. Buffalo Bills – JOSH ALLEN (QB), WYOMING
The Buffalo Bills current QB roster is A.J. McCarron and Nathan Peterman. That’s not going to get the job done in today’s NFL. It shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone that the Bills will likely target a QB in the first-round of the draft. Josh Allen is a talent with a big-arm who has struggled with accuracy issues. I’m not high on his potential to be successful in the NFL, but at this point….he’s a better option than anything else Buffalo has.
13. Washington Redskins – JOSH JACKSON (CB), IOWA
With the trade of CB Kendall Fuller to the Kansas City Chiefs for QB Alex Smith and the departure of Beshaud Breeland in free agency, all of a sudden corner becomes a huge need for Washington. Defensive tackle is another possibility as Washington has been absolutely dreadful against the run recently.
14. Green Bay Packers – CALVIN RIDLEY (WR), ALABAMA
Jordy Nelson is gone. Randall Cobb and his massive contract should be cut, but all signs point to the Packers keeping him, but he isn’t the player he once was. The Packers #1 wide receiver is now Davante Adams and that’s just not going to get the job done. Aaron Rodgers needs weapons and the Packers need to give them to him. They started out well with the addition of Jimmy Graham in free agency, but now it’s time to go a step further and add the #1 wide receiver in the draft as well.
15. Arizona Cardinals – CONNOR WILLIAMS (OT), TEXAS
The Seahawks have Russell Wilson. The Rams have Jared Goff. The 49ers have Jimmy Garoppolo. The Arizona Cardinals have…..Sam Bradford? You don’t have to be a football genius to know that the Cardinals are in a horrible spot right now as far as it pertains to their QB position. I personally think Arizona is a big time candidate to trade up in this draft and grab a QB as I personally don’t think any of the good ones will be left when they are picking at 14. If that doesn’t happen, well the Cardinals should turn their attention on protecting Sam Bradford as much as possible. Outside of putting him in a bubble when he’s on-the-field, the next best option is to surround him with elite offensive lineman. Connor Williams might just be the best offensive tackle in the draft. There you go.
16. Baltimore Ravens – BILLY PRICE (OC), OHIO STATE
Baltimore is in a horrible spot right now. They are in what is basically “NFL purgatory”. They are a middle-of-the-road team that has a middle-of-the-road QB who’s contract is sucking up a huge number of their salary cap which makes it harder for them to upgrade other positions. The Ravens need a ton of help on the offensive side of the ball. While I would love to see them take a WR, it’s becoming somewhat of a joke inside the NFL that the Ravens are where wide receivers go to die. If Ridley is still on-the-board here, I could see them pulling the trigger on him and ruining his career. In this scenario though. the Ravens draft the best center in the draft and give Joe Flacco some help on the offensive line. Just like the Ravens have been the last few years…..booooooooooooooring.
17. Los Angeles Chargers – RASHAAN EVANS (LB), ALABAMA
The Chargers were quietly becoming one of the most entertaining teams to watch on the defensive side of the ball last season. They are still missing a few key pieces to complete the puzzle though, namely at defensive tackle and inside linebacker. Rashaan Evans is the best inside linebacker in the draft and at #17, you have to pull the trigger. The Chargers could also be looking for help on the offensive line as well and a guy like Mike McGlinchey out of Notre Dame would make total sense.
18. Seattle Seahawks – DERWIN JAMES (S), FLORIDA STATE
Derwin James is a top-10 player in this draft when it comes to talent. We always see a talented player slip a little on draft day due to a multitude of things. While I personally believe James won’t be here at #18, it would be an excellent decision for the Seahawks to snag him if he’s available. The Seahawks are reeling right now and are currently in a re-build type mode, especially on the defensive side of the ball. It’s no secret that the team is looking to part ways with Earl Thomas and there’s a great chance that Kam Chancellor never returns to form due to injuries. Richard Sherman is gone and the “LEGION OF BOOM” is officially a thing of the past. It’s time for a new era in Seattle and having a guy like Derwin James as your starting piece would be a hell of a way for the Seachickens to accelerate the re-build.
19. Dallas Cowboys – COURTLAND SUTTON (WR), SMU
Dak Prescott needs some new pass catchers. The team has soured a bit on Dez Bryant and there were rumors that his time in Dallas was up. He still could potentially be cut, but even if they keep him….the team needs to give Prescott some new and improved weapons. Courtland Sutton would be a terrific addition to the Cowboys wide receiving corps. If Dallas is happy with what they have at the moment, they could look at a linebacker where they now need to replace Anthony Hitchens who left for the Kansas City Chiefs in free agency.
20. Detroit Lions – DA’RON PAYNE (DT), ALABAMA
New head coach and former New England Patriots defensive coordinator Matt Patricia’s first step as coach of the Lions is going to build the defense the way he wants it to look. Don’t be shocked to see the Lions spend a ton of attention to the defensive side of the ball in this draft. Pairing Da’Ron Payne alongside last year’s second-round pick A’Shawn Robinson could potentially give Detroit a scary ass duo on the defensive line in the coming years.
21. Cincinnati Bengals – MIKE MCGLINCHEY (OT), NOTRE DAME
The Bengals are disgusting on the offensive line. Trading for Buffalo’s Cordy Glenn was a good move, but they still need major upgrades because of the rest of the guys on their roster are hot garbage. Mike McGlinchey is the best offensive tackle on-the-board at this point and I would snag him in a heart beat if he’s available.
22. Buffalo Bills – CHRISTIAN KIRK (WR), TEXAS A&M
The Bills got their QB of the future with the 12th pick, now it’s time to address other issues. If Buffalo wants to put their new QB in the best position to succeed, well, you need to give the guy some capable weapons. As of right now, Kelvin Benjamin and Zay Jones aren’t going to get the job done as potential #1 wide receivers. Draft a guy like Christian Kirk and let him grow alongside whoever it is the Bills draft at QB. And trust me, they’re going to draft SOMEONE at QB.
23. Los Angeles Rams – MARCUS DAVENPORT (DE), UTSA
The Rams traded away Robert Quinn a few weeks back and it’s time to find his replacement in the draft. At this point, with not a lot of teams looking for edge rushers in the first-round, the Rams should have a pretty healthy selection of guys to choose from.
24. Carolina Panthers – HAROLD LANDRY (DE), BOSTON COLLEGE
I wasn’t sure which route to go with the Panthers as I really think they need immediate help from an elite edge rusher and a wide receiver. Devin Funchess has been decent, but if they are rolling with him as the #1 option next year….yikes. Torrey Smith runs one route well and sucks at everything else. Greg Olsen is getting up their in age and won’t be around forever. Cam Newton needs some weapons to help spread the ball around. With all that said, there’s no wide receiver who can fill that void at this point in the draft. Grab an edge rusher like Harold Landry and you’ll be much happier down the line.
25. Tennessee Titans – SAM HUBBARD (DE), OHIO STATE
The pass rushers are starting to fly off the board as teams with big-time needs at the position are starting to fill up their baskets. The Titans need some help rushing off the edge and new head coach Mike Vrabel knows this. I would be shocked if Tennessee doesn’t spend its first few draft picks on upgrading their defense.
26. Atlanta Falcons – MAURICE HURST (DT), MICHIGAN
Adrian Clayborn and Dontari Poe are gone. The Falcons have no one on their roster to replace them. Needless to say, Atlanta should be looking to add a shit ton of beef to their defensive line in this year’s draft.
27. New Orleans Saints – LAMAR JACKSON (QB), LOUISVILLE
While I highly doubt this one would happen, sometimes we get a nice little shock in the first-round and when we get one, it usually happens towards the end of the draft when teams get a little looser and like to gamble. The Saints have a band-aid on the QB position right now. Drew Brees is old as shit. Yes, he can still play at an elite level, but what if his play suddenly drops off or worse….what if he gets injured? Then the Saints become a playoff team that just lost their best player and you know what the second option is? Tom fucking Savage. That’s not getting the job done in today’s NFL. Someone will gamble on a QB in the end of the draft this year. Lamar Jackson is about as interesting a prospect at QB as you can find. There are some people who feel that with the right coaching, the kid has the skill and talent to blossom into an NFL QB. There are other people out there who feel like he could blossom into an eventual NFL superstar if he would just switch positions. I say, let an offensive guy like Sean Payton gets his hands on Jackson and make the decision for us all.
28. Pittsburgh Steelers – DERRIUS GUICE (RB), LSU
I love Le’Veon Bell. He might be the best running back in the NFL. However, I don’t love Le’Veon Bell at the price tag that he’s commanding though. He wants big-time money and I’m a big-time believer in NOT giving a running back a contract that will swallow up your salary cap number and put your team in a financial crunch for the next 4+ years. It’s just not feasible in today’s NFL. The Steelers would be wise to let a different team pay Bell what he wants (a team like Miami who always does stupid things with their cash would pony up and pay Bell) and focus their attention on getting younger at the position. Running back is one of the rare positions in the NFL Draft where you can throw a rock at a group of players and likely hit a guy who can be a day one starter from the get-go. Derrius Guice is the second-best running back in the draft behind Barkley, just don’t ask him if he likes men and you’ll be good.
29. Jacksonville Jaguars – D.J. MOORE (WR), MARYLAND
The Jacksonville Jaguars were one of the surprise teams from last season. With the loss of Allen Robinson in free agency though, the Jaguars need a replacement. There will likely be a ton of options for Jacksonville to choose from at the #29 position. A spot where Jacksonville is DEFINITELY not use to drafting at.
30. Minnesota Vikings – ISAIAH WYNN (OG), GEORGIA
Kirk Cousins is here. Now it’s time to protect him.
31. New England Patriots – JAIRE ALEXANDER (CB), LSU
Malcolm Butler is gone and he’s on his way to Tennessee. A replacement needs to be found and thankfully for the Patriots, this is a pretty deep draft for corners. Go find a guy who you won’t have to bench in the Super Bowl.
32. Philadelphia Eagles – JAMES WASHINGTON (WR), OKLAHOMA STATE
The Super Bowl champs have a solid roster from top-to-bottom and just need to add a few pieces to keep the train rolling. The team recently traded Torrey Smith away and now they have a need at the wide receiver position. Alshon Jeffery is injury-prone and can’t be trusted, even though he’s a fantastic player when on-the-field. Nelson Agholor turned a corner last year, but can he continue to evolve? It’s no secret where the Eagles weakness is and that’s depth at the wide receiver position. Luckily for them, they should be able to find some key contributors in this year’s draft.
And there we have it folks! With the NFL Draft set to take place in just over a month’s time, I’ll be back right before the draft with another mock draft that is sure to make your eyes orgasm.
It’s just what I do people.