Did everyone survive the first week of SURVIVOR FOOTBALL?!?!

I’m sure a lot of you have already been eliminated (no one here at THE USB was…humble brag), but for those of you who are still alive, here are the smartest picks for week two as well as our own experts picks!

Once again, you’re welcome.




Cincinnati Bengals (1-0) @ Pittsburgh Steelers (1-0)

Cincinnati’s Record in Pittsburgh: 16-30

Cincinnati’s Record vs. Pittsburgh: 35-56

Last meeting: Pittsburgh def. Cincinnati 18-16 on January 9, 2016

Cincinnati’s Offensive Ranking: 12th

Pittsburgh’s Offensive Ranking: 7th

Cincinnati’s Defensive Ranking: 13th

Pittsburgh’s Defensive Ranking: 21st

Verdict: Are you kidding me? Whenever the Steelers and the Bengals play, the games seem like tightly contested football games and are the closest thing you can get to a war zone on the field. I mentioned before that I absolutely hate taking divisional games in survivor league because of the familiarity that the teams have with one another. I’m staying far as I possibly can from this game as it really could swing either way. You saw that playoff game nine months ago, right? We could be in store for another game exactly like that one. No thanks.

Tennessee Titans (0-1) @ Detroit Lions (1-0)

Tennessee’s Record in Detroit: 3-1

Tennessee’s Record vs. Detroit: 8-3

Last meeting: Tennessee def. Detroit 44-41 on September 23, 2012

Tennessee’s Offensive Ranking: 23rd

Detroit’s Offensive Ranking: 6th

Tennessee’s Defensive Ranking: 7th

Detroit’s Defensive Ranking: 27th

Verdict: These teams haven’t played each other a whole lot, which makes this an interesting game. However, I think Detroit is way more talented than the Titans are. A little known secret is that the Lions were one of the hottest teams to end the season last year. After a big win in Indianapolis last week, Detroit is rolling right now. I would gladly take the Lions in a survivor league this week as I feel like it’s one of the strongest plays with all apologies to Marcus Mariota.

Baltimore Ravens (1-0) @ Cleveland Browns (0-1)

Baltimore’s Record in Cleveland: 12-5

Baltimore’s Record vs. Cleveland: 25-9

Last meeting: Baltimore def. Cleveland 33-27 on November 30, 2015

Baltimore’s Offensive Ranking: 25th

Cleveland’s Offensive Ranking: 29th

Baltimore’s Defensive Ranking: 1st

Cleveland’s Defensive Ranking: 23rd

Verdict: This game is going to suck. Neither the Ravens or the Browns are very good and I have zero interest in this game. There’s no way I would bet it in any form. However, if you forced me to take a team….I would likely take the Ravens and wouldn’t bat an eye. Baltimore has a better roster than Cleveland. They have a better head coach. And they absolutely own the Browns on the road. I wouldn’t personally touch this game in a survivor league (the two teams split the series last year), but if you’re feeling brave….take the Ravens. It might be your only opportunity to use them this season.

Dallas Cowboys (0-1) @ Washington Redskins  (0-1)

Dallas’ Record in Washington: 28-30

Dallas’ Record vs. Washington: 66-44-2

Last meeting: Washington def. Dallas 34-23 on January 3, 2016

Dallas’ Offensive Ranking: 21st

Washington’s Offensive Ranking: 11th

Dallas’ Defensive Ranking: 9th

Washington’s Defensive Ranking: 25th

Verdict: Stay as far away from this game as you possibly can when it comes to survivor leagues. Trust me.

New Orleans Saints (0-1) @ New York Giants (1-0)

New Orleans’ Record in New York: 4-11

New Orleans’ Record vs. New York: 13-15

Last meeting: New Orleans def. New York 52-49 on November 1, 2015

New Orleans’ Offensive Ranking: 3rd

New York’s Offensive Ranking: 23rd

New Orleans’ Defensive Ranking: 28th

New York’s Defensive Ranking: 11th

Verdict: Tread lightly with this game. On one hand, I wouldn’t touch it because of what happened last season when these two teams met on the football field. It was one of those “no defense/shoot-out” games that are extremely fun to watch on television, but are a survivor league nightmare. On the other hand, I would be tempted to take the Giants. New York has owned New Orleans at home (the Saints haven’t beaten the Giants in New York in ten years), and even though last year’s game was close…I think the Giants have improved from last season and I expect them to win this football game. Like I said earlier, tread lightly with this one. If you’re feeling brave, take the Giants.

San Francisco 49ers (1-0) @ Carolina Panthers (0-1)

San Francisco’s Record in Carolina: 5-5

San Francisco’s Record vs. Carolina: 8-11

Last meeting: San Francisco def. Carolina 23-10 on January 12, 2014

San Francisco’s Offensive Ranking: 22nd

Carolina’s Offensive Ranking: 20th

San Francisco’s Defensive Ranking: 2nd

Carolina’s Defensive Ranking: 8th

Verdict: This game is one of the strongest plays of the week. I don’t care about the teams records and what happened in week one. The Panthers are WAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY more talented than the 49ers are and they should boat race them this weekend. San Francisco looked really good in week one, but let’s not fool ourselves here. The Los Angeles Rams were absolutely terrible on Monday Night and put on one of the worst performances in NFL history and the 49ers benefited from that big-time. Do you guys remember what team looked really good last year in week one on Monday Night Football? The 49ers! Remember what happened after that game? Yep. Take the Panthers this week and don’t even bat an eye about it.

Miami Dolphins (0-1) @ New England Patriots (1-0)

Miami’s Record in New England: 17-33

Miami’s Record vs. New England: 53-48

Last meeting: Miami def. New England 20-10 on January 3, 2016

Miami’s Offensive Ranking: 31st

New England’s Offensive Ranking: 15th

Miami’s Defensive Ranking: 17th

New England’s Defensive Ranking: 14th

Verdict: Nope. Stay away. Much like Tom Brady, you should want nothing to do with this game.

Kansas City Chiefs (1-0) @ Houston Texans (1-0)

Kansas City’s Record in Houston: 4-2

Kansas City’s Record vs. Houston: 5-3

Last meeting: Kansas City def. Houston 30-0 on January 9, 2016

Kansas City’s Offensive Ranking: 8th

Houston’s Offensive Ranking: 18th

Kansas City’s Defensive Ranking: 22nd

Houston’s Defensive Ranking: 4th

Verdict: A lot of people are probably tempted to take the Kansas City Chiefs in this game. I mean, all signs point towards the Chiefs getting the victory. They were 2-0 last year vs. the Texans including that 30-0 ass whooping in the playoffs that still stings with Texans players. Not only that, but Andy Reid has never lost to the Texans as a head coach. If you like to live dangerously, you could take the Chiefs in this game and cross your fingers. However, I like to live smart myself. There’s no way I’m touching this game. With Houston, you have the whole revenge factor. These guys definitely don’t want to get their asses kicked on their home-field again and they will come to play. Kansas City has some worrisome injuries that scare me going into this game (their two starting guards, Jamaal Charles, and Justin Houston are all out), and there’s just no way I feel extremely confident going into this game as a Chiefs fan after that scare last week vs. San Diego. I wouldn’t touch this game myself, even though a lot of people may be tempted to take KC.

Seattle Seahawks (1-0) @ Los Angeles Rams (0-1)

Seattle’s Record in Los Angeles/St. Louis: 8-9

Seattle’s Record vs. Los Angeles/St. Louis: 21-15

Last meeting: Los Angeles def. Seattle 23-17 on December 27, 2015

Seattle’s Offensive Ranking: 16th

Los Angeles’s Offensive Ranking: 32nd

Seattle’s Defensive Ranking: 3rd

Los Angeles’s Defensive Ranking: 10th

Verdict: People are going to be tempted to take the Seahawks after the Rams’ awful showing on Monday Night Football. However, I’m here to tell you to BE CAREFUL! I know the Rams looked extremely awful against the 49ers last week, but there’s something about the Seahawks that brings it out in Jeff Fisher’s teams. The Rams always give Seattle a good fight and even though they look like the worst team in the league, they could still surprise some people this week, especially with Russell Wilson nursing a bum ankle. The Rams actually swept the Seahawks last season in games that were decided by one score. What’s going to happen when these two teams meet up this Sunday? Will the Rams finally show up or will Seattle absolutely maul them? I have no idea which is why I’m staying FAR FAR away from this sucker.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-0) @ Arizona Cardinals (0-1)

Tampa Bay’s Record in Arizona: 4-3

Tampa Bay’s Record vs. Arizona: 9-9

Last meeting: Arizona def. Tampa Bay 13-10 on September 29, 2013

Tampa Bay’s Offensive Ranking: 14th

Arizona’s Offensive Ranking: 18th

Tampa Bay’s Defensive Ranking: 20th

Arizona’s Defensive Ranking: 18th

Verdict: This should be one of the best games of the week. Tampa Bay looked like a well-oiled machine in week one and I’m excited to see what this offense can do against a real defense in Arizona. Jameis Winston will be a top-10 NFL QB by the end of the year, if he isn’t already. If he comes out against the Cardinals and shreds their defense, I’m officially on the Bucs bandwagon for the rest of the season. That’s not going to be an easy task though as the Cardinals are one of the best teams in the NFC and are going to be a real test for the Bucs. I’m just going to sit back as an NFL fan and enjoy this game. There’s no way I’m picking either one of these teams this week in a survivor league. I think the Cardinals will pull out the win, but I can’t say that with a lot of confidence. Tampa Bay is one of those teams that we just don’t know what they are yet. They look good, but buyer’s beware.

Jacksonville Jaguars (0-1) @ San Diego Chargers (0-1)

Jacksonville’s Record in San Diego: 0-3

Jacksonville’s Record vs. San Diego: 2-6

Last meeting: San Diego def. Jacksonville 31-25 on November 29, 2015

Jacksonville’s Offensive Ranking: 17th

San Diego’s Offensive Ranking: 10th

Jacksonville’s Defensive Ranking: 6th

San Diego’s Defensive Ranking: 24th

Verdict: This is a sneaky pick this week. Looking at the stats, all signs point towards picking the Chargers. What do I mean exactly? Well, San Diego defeated Jacksonville last season in a tightly-contested game. Also, the Jaguars have NEVER won a game in San Diego. And to top it all off, the Chargers looked good against a good team in the Chiefs last week before falling flat on their faces in the second-half and may want to prove that last half of the game was all just a fluke. While I personally wouldn’t touch this game myself, I think the Chargers are going to win the game and are one of the sneaky picks of the week.

Atlanta Falcons (0-1) @ Oakland Raiders (1-0)

Atlanta’s Record in Oakland: 2-4

Atlanta’s Record vs. Oakland: 6-7

Last meeting: Atlanta def. Oakland 23-20 on October 14, 2012

Atlanta’s Offensive Ranking: 13th

Oakland’s Offensive Ranking: 4th

Atlanta’s Defensive Ranking: 19th

Oakland’s Defensive Ranking: 29th

Verdict: I like the Raiders in this one and they are likely one of the smartest picks of the week. I think this game is going to be a lot like last week’s game against the Saints. A high-scoring affair with little defense played. The Raiders don’t have anyone who can cover Julio Jones and Oakland’s offense has way too many weapons for this Falcons defense to contain. I think this is going to be one of the best games to watch this weekend and I expect the Raiders to come out of it with a 2-0 record. Don’t look now, but Oakland is back?

Indianapolis Colts (0-1) @ Denver Broncos (1-0)

Indianapolis’ Record in Denver: 4-7

Indianapolis’ Record vs. Denver: 13-12

Last meeting: Indianapolis def. Denver 24-13 on January 11, 2015

Indianapolis’ Offensive Ranking: 5th

Denver’s Offensive Ranking: 26th

Indianapolis’ Defensive Ranking: 26th

Denver’s Defensive Ranking: 12th

Verdict: No thank you. This game could go either way. I love Andrew Luck, but I also love Denver’s defense. This will be an extremely interesting game, but I’m not touching it in a survivor league.

Green Bay Packers (1-0) @ Minnesota Vikings (1-0)

Green Bay’s Record in Minnesota: 28-26

Green Bay’s Record vs. Minnesota: 59-50-2

Last meeting: Minnesota def. Green Bay 20-13 on January 3, 2016

Green Bay’s Offensive Ranking: 28th

Minnesota’s Offensive Ranking: 27th

Green Bay’s Defensive Ranking: 16th

Minnesota’s Defensive Ranking: 9th

Verdict: Are you kidding me? Noooooooooooooooooo thanks.

Philadelphia Eagles (1-0) @ Chicago Bears (0-1)

Philadelphia’s Record in Chicago: 5-16

Philadelphia’s Record vs. Chicago: 12-29-1

Last meeting: Philadelphia def. Chicago 54-11 on December 22, 2013

Philadelphia’s Offensive Ranking: 9th

Chicago’s Offensive Ranking: 30th

Philadelphia’s Defensive Ranking: 5th

Chicago’s Defensive Ranking: 14th

Verdict: This one is a bit of a trap game to me. I know a lot of people are probably tempted to take the Eagles after what we saw from these teams in week one. Personally though, I’m not touching this game in a survivor league. Philly is going on-the-road with a rookie QB who’s playing in his first away game. Not only that, but the Eagles have only managed to win FIVE GAMES in the city of Chicago during the course of their franchise history. To say I’m not extremely confident in the Eagles going into Chicago and picking up a win this weekend is an understatement. Even though Philly looked like a much better team than the Bears did last week, it wouldn’t shock me at all to see Chicago pick up the win on Monday Night Football.

And there’s your line-up of games to choose from for week two. And just for fun, THE Ultimate Sports Blog’s own football experts will play along each week and provide our own picks to see who takes home the trophy. Here are our picks for this week……

Jeremy Lambert: New York Giants over New Orleans Saints

Steve Cook: Detroit Lions over Tennessee Titans

Dustin James: Carolina Panthers over San Francisco 49ers

Team’s Already Used:

Jeremy Lambert: Seattle

Steve Cook: Houston

Dustin James: Seattle