If you missed yesterday’s preview of the AFC East, what is wrong with you? Correct yourself right now. And for those of you who can’t remember what you had for breakfast, let me catch you up on how this works:

The premise for these previews is simple. I did no research outside of what I typically read on Twitter and wrote down my thoughts. Then I did a little bit of research (meaning I read Dustin James’ previews) just so I don’t look like a complete idiot, and you feel like you got something of value out of reading this.

NFC East

Dallas Cowboys

Presearch: Tony Romo and Dez Bryant will get bashed no matter what. I know they drafted Ezekiel Elliot to be their running back, and everyone talks about how good their offensive line is so I’ll just assume that Elliot runs for 1,000 yards. Defense won’t be good, and that damn ginger is still the head coach. I thought they’d win the division if Romo stayed healthy, but Romo can’t stay healthy.

Research: I stand by everything I said in my Presearch.

Washington Redskins

Presearch: Kirk Cousins isn’t as good as others think he is. DeSean Jackson is still a playmaker if he’s healthy. I know they picked up Josh Norman, and I’m really interested to see how he does against Beckham and Dez twice a year. Highly doubt they repeat as division champions.

Research: Totally thought the Redskins caved and paid Cousins, but it appears that they don’t think he’s very good either. DeAngelo Hall is playing safety now? Alright then. I think their secondary could be really good. Still don’t like them as much as the Cowboys and Giants.

Philadelphia Eagles

Presearch: I don’t know a damn thing about the Eagles. They got rid of Chip Kelly and brought in the guy from Kansas City who Dustin says is overrated. Pretty sure they drafted a quarterback. I have no expectations for the Eagles, and I imagine that their fans will be pissed off a lot this year. Even more so than usual.

Research: Oh damn, Sam Bradford is still on their roster. And Carson Wentz is the QB they drafted. Never seen him play. It looks like their linebackers and corners are garbage so basically their defensive line better stop everything or their safeties better make plays because they won’t be good in the middle. So yeah, Eagles fans will be pissed off a lot.

New York Giants

Presearch: They got rid of Tom Coughlin, who was a no-nonsense guy. That means that brought in more of a players coach, right? Eli and Beckham will combine for a lot of yards and touchdowns. Victor Cruz might be a factor if he doesn’t get hurt. People tell me they have really good cornerbacks, so I guess there’s that. They’ll challenge for the division title.

Research: They hired some guy named Ben McAdoo. He was their offensive coordinator last year, but it doesn’t take a genius to run a bunch of plays for OBJ. He’s also been a “quality control coordinator” during his NFL career, and that sounds like the dumbest job ever. Does he make sure that the Gatorade hasn’t been spiked and that the towels are fluffy enough? This sounds like a job they give the nephew of the head coach. The Giants signed a bunch of defensive guys during the offseason, so I expect them to be much better on that side of the ball. Unless of course, those guys don’t fit into the scheme and it all backfires.

Division Winner: New York Giants